What if I began this post by telling you all that I was in love? For that is, indeed, what I wish to write about today. Doubtless you would think that I was talking about some cute guy in one of my classes, or one of my nice coworkers, and you'd smile a little to think that I'd be smitten in so little time after returning home from my mission. Well, my dear people, I will not deny that this is a probable assumption after reading my first sentence, that "I am in love."
But let's think about this a different way.
This week I spent more time with Sydney, my sister, than I have in a long time. I stayed with her one evening after classes to help her with a paper, we studied together for a Humanities test that we have, we went to True Blue Foam (see picture below) together, donated blood one evening, went on a family outing to Salt Lake City, etc. One night I was texting her and realized- "You know what? Sydney is one of my best friends!! I love being around her, and I have more fun when I'm with her than when I'm with practically anyone else."
What a tender turn-around! She has always been my sister, but she has never been my friend like she is now. What a lovely, sweet surprise to find her written on my heart in a new way. I ought always to have seen it so, and it was always in my hands to open up that place for her, but somehow it just never clicked until now. Kirsten, on that note, is taking a similar place. We live together, joke together, dance together to our Country playlists, and she laughs at my idiosyncrasies all day long... (In fact, she has a running list that she sends to Sydney whenever I say something dumb or make a joke that she finds obnoxious. I don't know when she began disliking puns...) She is a crazy girl, but I love feeling my heart expand as I try to just accept her, to open myself to the way she is, make her my sister and friend and confidante no matter what differences we have.
Lessons learned this week: 1) Sisters are hidden treasures; I waste them if I close my eyes to all that they might be. 2) The more I seek, the more I fall in love with people at my side. Are we not all God's dear children? I have EVER loved Relief Society, and always will, and our class today reminded me how freely that love flows if we will only open up.
The problem, then? "In love" has such a restrictive definition in the common usage. Having studied language a fair amount, I understand that meaning changes through time, that words are not solid objects, and that definition, implication, and connotation are all very different things. I don't know when "in love" became an expression for what I might feel towards some cute guy, but I'd argue that it ought to mean much more. After all, I feel as in love with my sisters as I have ever been, and I DON'T mean that in a weird way. They just complete me, that's all.
Que pasaría si yo empezara con decirles que estoy enamorada? Es del amor que voy a escribir hoy día. Sin duda, pensarán que refiero a un chico lindo que conocí en una de mis clases, o a un compañero de trabajo que me cae muy bien, y se reirán al saber que tardé tan poco tiempo. Seguro que pensarán algo así, y les entiendo.
But let's think about this a different way.
This week I spent more time with Sydney, my sister, than I have in a long time. I stayed with her one evening after classes to help her with a paper, we studied together for a Humanities test that we have, we went to True Blue Foam (see picture below) together, donated blood one evening, went on a family outing to Salt Lake City, etc. One night I was texting her and realized- "You know what? Sydney is one of my best friends!! I love being around her, and I have more fun when I'm with her than when I'm with practically anyone else."
What a tender turn-around! She has always been my sister, but she has never been my friend like she is now. What a lovely, sweet surprise to find her written on my heart in a new way. I ought always to have seen it so, and it was always in my hands to open up that place for her, but somehow it just never clicked until now. Kirsten, on that note, is taking a similar place. We live together, joke together, dance together to our Country playlists, and she laughs at my idiosyncrasies all day long... (In fact, she has a running list that she sends to Sydney whenever I say something dumb or make a joke that she finds obnoxious. I don't know when she began disliking puns...) She is a crazy girl, but I love feeling my heart expand as I try to just accept her, to open myself to the way she is, make her my sister and friend and confidante no matter what differences we have.
Lessons learned this week: 1) Sisters are hidden treasures; I waste them if I close my eyes to all that they might be. 2) The more I seek, the more I fall in love with people at my side. Are we not all God's dear children? I have EVER loved Relief Society, and always will, and our class today reminded me how freely that love flows if we will only open up.
The problem, then? "In love" has such a restrictive definition in the common usage. Having studied language a fair amount, I understand that meaning changes through time, that words are not solid objects, and that definition, implication, and connotation are all very different things. I don't know when "in love" became an expression for what I might feel towards some cute guy, but I'd argue that it ought to mean much more. After all, I feel as in love with my sisters as I have ever been, and I DON'T mean that in a weird way. They just complete me, that's all.
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| At the BYU Football game with Kirst Partido de fútbol americano con Kirst |
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| Blue Foam with friends- Fun!! Espuma Azul con amigos- Que divertido!! |
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| Her first time giving blood... Fue su primera vez... |
Pero vamos a pensar de otra manera.
Este semana pasé mucho tiempo con mi hermanita, Sydney. Me quedé tarde un día ayudándola con una tarea que tenía, estudiamos juntos para un examen de las Humanidades que tenemos, fuimos a La Espuma Azúl juntos, (vean la foto arriba), donamos sangre juntos, fuimos a Salt Lake City con nuestra familia, etc. Una noche le estaba escribiendo por mensaje de text y me dí cuenta, "Sabes? Sydney es una de mis mejores amigas! Me hace reir y me divierto más con ella que cualquier otra persona."
Que tierno, cierto? Siempre ha sido mi hermana, pero nunca ha sido mi amiga tal como es ahora. Fue maravillosa verla escrito en mi corazon de esta nueva manera. Debí haberla visto antes, y siempre estaba en mis manos abrir mi corazón, pero tardé hasta ahora en hacerlo. Kirsten también está empezando tomar ese mismo lugar. Vivimos juntos, bromeamos juntos, bailamos juntos a la musica Country, y ella me burla por las cosas tontas que digo. (De hecho, tiene una lista y la envía a Sydney a menudo...) Kirsten es loquita, pero me encanta sentir que mi corazón ensancha mientras intento aceptarla, abrirme a su manera de ser, hacerla mi amiga, sin importar las diferencias que tenemos.
Cosas que aprendí este semana: 1) Hermanas son tesoros escondidos. Los desprecio si no abro mis ojos para ver lo que realmente pueden ser. 2) Lo más que busco hacerlo, lo más que me enamoro de las personas que me rodean. Siempre me ha encantado la Sociedad de Socorro, y hoy día en nuestra clase me acordé cuan facilmente podamos enamorarnos con todo si decidimos hacerlo.
El problema, entonces? La frase "estar enamorado de" es demasiado restringido en el uso que actualmente la damos. Estudio el lenguaje y sé que las palabras no son inmutables, que el significado cambia tras tiempo, y que hay una diferencia entre el uso de una palabra, la connotación, y la implicación. No sé cuando la frase llegó a ser una expresión por la atracción que siento por un chico lindo, pero pienso que debe tener un significado mucho más amplio que actualmente tiene. Estoy más "enamorada" con mis hermanitas que nunca, sin decir nada extraño. Me hacen sentir completo. !Así es!
Ahhhhh-so glad you've started another blog!! I've missed your posts :-) What a great blessing to have those wonderful sisters of yours as good friends :-) My daughters are two of my best friends and I'm so grateful for the relationship we have :-)
ReplyDeleteI love you, Erica!!