Caleb's near-death experience in January left me with a lot of emotional and spiritual trauma to work through. I prayed and studied the scriptures extensively, slowly identifying why I still felt so insecure even after Caleb's recovery. I realized several important things. 1. Subconsciously, I had expected my gospel living to result in specific blessings: a happy marriage, healthy and safe children, etc. Those expectations went unchallenged for a while, but then my two-week-old baby stopped breathing. And didn't really start breathing again for another 10 days. 2. As a result of those shattered expectations, I felt betrayed by God. This was hard to admit to myself. I knew He was still aware of me, but I was confused and hurt. Why had He allowed me to suffer when I had tried so hard to be righteous? I thought of this as I watched the YA Face to Face on Sunday. One of the last questions echoed mine. Why are the righteous denied certain blessings? That young adult wante